Hope and Change? No. Despair and Agony.

Momentum…..it is ‘a changin’.  Recent articles (read: pleas for donations) show the apparent fragility of Obama’s re-election chances. Whether or not this is a ploy by Obama’s camp to try to coax campaign dollars from former voters remains to be seen. I assume it is.

Now, I’ve heard and seen that Republicans say that if this election is about the economy, there is no way Obama can win. Considering the track record he has, this probably isn’t a stretch.  If Obama had his way, he would have some throwback, 70’s super-gay song as his re-election theme song, but it’s probably too old for people who watch “The Jersey Shore.” Why the fuck did I capitalize that? What the fuck is wrong with me? Is this over-indulged societal sickness infecting me, too?  Well, nevermind that.

What matters here is numbers. I’m not going to pretend to be some fucking accounting major from Northern Georgia University. Is there such a thing? I don’t fucking know.

The point is, one year ago, Obama was “invincible.” Is he now, I wonder? Ask the people how their “hope and change” is going.  Doubt the answer is the same as it was in 2008.

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Georgetown Slut….How Much for Contraception? And Rush Gets Slammed For Telling It Like It Is

Anyone with a television, computer or smart phone has probably heard about the firestorm set off yesterday with the testimony of a Georgetown co-ed before the House Oversight Committee. Sandra Fluke is the name of this young “lady.” She, in effect, tells the Committee that she can’t afford to pay for contraception, because it costs $3000 per year. Now, don’t get me wrong, $3000 per year is a lot of money, at least for me. However, I don’t pay $70,000 per year to attend Georgetown Law School.

Isn’t Georgetown a Jesuit institution? Correct me if I’m wrong here, but don’t Catholics believe that ANY form of contraception is a sin? Wait…..even before that, isn’t pre-marital sex a sin? Incredible.

Rush Limbaugh, in his infinite wisdom, called this little strumpet out. Predictably, the beta-media couldn’t stand having the truth told, decided to gang up on Rush again. This was on good ole’ Obammy-ball-licking NBC, broadcast to millions of “Americans” who actually listen to the wretched swill coming out of Brian Williams’ mouth, as if it were coming from the Pope himself…….wait…what? For those clever few out there, you’ll pick up on what I did there.

This “argument” is prima facie absurd.

Not that I have a problem with her (or any woman, for that matter) finding guys (ha…good luck with that; have you seen “her” picture?) to plow the shit out of her. I earnestly hope you get filled out like a God-damned job application. Go right ahead and be used. That’s your business. If you can find a beta-provider to put up with your hyphenated last name bullshit, I wish you the best. I truly do.  Perhaps in the void where God should be (but you’ve been “educated” out of) you can find some meaning in slurping off random dudes, and possibly some bi-sexual encounters…..Maybe, but I doubt it. My best guess is that she will fill it with book clubs and days spent convincing herself that she’s more intelligent than those sad-sap motherfuckers born in the bible and rust belts. I’m sure that the gaping holes where her vagina and pride once were will console her.

Damn it, I’m getting sort of deep into the alcohol here. I apologize, and not for the alcoholic consumption, but for the absolutely matter-of-fact way that I am addressing this travesty. My mother always told me to tell the truth. Is that not what this whole fucking thing is about? Well, she also told me not to drink, but fuck that nonsense. Anyhow, let’s get down to brass tacks here.

Some college student wants taxpayer dollars to pay for her contraception. So she’s getting money for sex, right? What is the textbook definition of that? Any questions? No? Let’s move on.

So all this shit happens and Rush Limbaugh calls her out for it. And, just to veer off topic for a moment, I wonder what this girl’s parents think about this shit? Guaranteed GE stockholders. Guaranteed.

So Rush gets vilified in the beta media (a big thanks to Chateau Heartiste; It seems I just can’t stop borrowing a couple of his terms) and all of a sudden, he hates women…….WHO ACT LIKE PROSTITUTES AND EXPECT TAXPAYERS TO PAY THEM FOR IT. I have absolutely no problem with that.

Or does he? I have a hunch that El Rushbo’s thinking is very similar to mine; he probably holds in high regard demure women. And that’s what I’m getting after here, if you want to go to college, get plowed, and have bi-sexual experiences, it’s your business. KEEP IT THAT WAY. Don’t go before a House Subcommittee and embarrass yourself, your family, your God (well you don’t believe in one, yet you go to a Jesuit school).

So, in closing, let’s just pretend for a minute that I am responsible to pay for contraceptives for this young “lady.” Isn’t it bad enough that I already pay taxes for human lives to be ended when I oppose this procedure?  (and yes, life begins at contraception. Period.)  Not only must I pay taxes to pay for this so called “right,” I have to smile and listen to this immature skank whine to the House Subcommitte that she can’t afford contraception? On top of the $70,000 per year to attend this “higher learning” institution?

Aspirin would be cheaper. I’ll even volunteer to pay for four years’ worth of aspirin for every single female student at Georgetown.

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The liberal Media and NASCAR

Many NASCAR fans don’t understand why people think the “sport” is boring. They probably see it as a dying art, unappreciated  by the Starbucks and entitlement gentry. I actually have to agree with NASCAR’s detractors, who claim the races are uneventful and dull. NASCAR racing is, without a doubt, the most tedious and insanely fucking boring thing I have ever watched.

The Daytona 500 is currently on right now, though it is “red flagged” because some stupid foreigner decided to crash into a track maintenance vehicle and start a massive fire on the track. The delay has lasted roughly an hour, as of right now.

You may be asking yourself what in the hell NASCAR has to do with politics. Well, when you’ve been following politics, and the media’s coverage of politics as long as I have, then you notice certain trends, especially from certain networks.

Many people won’t watch NASCAR because it’s a bunch of cars making left-hand turns for 500 miles. I agree, and I am one of those people. I have been watching the national media make left-hand turns for much longer than 500 miles.

I’m not going to sit here and suggest something that’s not true, like “Fox News is Fair and Balanced.” It’s not, and it’s a commonly accepted truth. Fox News reports the news with a Conservative lean.  Most Republicans would probably agree with me on this. But isn’t it a bit disingenuous to suggest that the national media reports “right down the middle?”

Look at every single other network. Look at their home pages. Look at the headlines they post. Go ahead, flip through your channels. MSNBC, NBC, CBS, ABC, and CNN all blatantly “report” the “news” with a liberal slant.

Rachel “I talk as if you and I share some inside joke or maybe I’m just clucking sidemouth” Maddow is the most blatant. She physically rejoiced while reporting on who the likely Republican Presidential candidate will be. Apparently she doesn’t think that Mitt Romney can defeat “Savior Obama” in the general election. Honestly, I don’t believe he can either, but I was confused when I saw her celebrating. I thought maybe she had finally convinced herself that she was a dyke because it was “who she was” and not because she had absolutely nothing physically attractive to offer a man. Well, I suppose that much rejection would be pretty rough. But the bitch ain’t fooling me.

Ed Schultz (sp?) also attended a Democratic “strategy retreat.” Now, I don’t even know if this motherfucker’s “show” is still on the air or not. But correct me if I’m wrong here, that would be akin to….oh, I don’t know, Hannity attending a similar function for Mitt Romney or Rick Santorum. Indeed, if Hannity had done something like that, what do you think the media response would have been from MSNBC or any of the other networks? Fox News would have gotten absolutely fucking hammered in the liberal media. Yet, the left gets a free pass with this shit.

Chris “I love Obama inside of me, his words I mean” Matthews has been up to his same old tricks. Here’s his modus operandi for interviewing anyone to the right of Joe Scarborough: 1. Ask question.  2. Allow 2 seconds of completely un-interrupted time for interviewee to speak.  3. Cut them off and slurp off Obama. A second-rate Brian Williams (beta poster child), who had the temerity to say on air, “It’s my job to make his (Obama) job as easy as I can.” Read that again. Was he actually admitting he’s going to make things as easy as he can for Obammy? Objective journalism, indeed!

And these are just three examples from ONE network. Which, incidentally, is getting destroyed in ratings, and have been for years. I’m not even mentioning Joy “old catcher’s mitt” Behar, Anderson “secretly but not-so-secretly gay”  Cooper, the ENTIRE cast of “The View”(minus Elizabeth Hasselbeck), George Stephanopoulos, Martin Bashir, Charlie Rose, The New York Times, The Washington Post, NPR (your tax dollars at work), or…..fuck it, I’m done giving examples.

During the 2008 election, Obama refused to debate on Fox News, on the grounds that it wasn’t “legitimate.” Apparently being the most watched news network for what, 8 or 9 years in a row disqualifies Fox from being a good host for a presidential debate.  Perhaps he meant that since they do not receive their marching orders from George Soros, they couldn’t adequately lick his balls before, during, and after each question and response.

If I were running for president, and I were Romney, Santorum, or Paul, I would absolutely refuse to debate on any network except for Fox, on the grounds that they aren’t “legitimate,” because not enough people watch the other networks. Sounds like a good enough justification to me.

I don’t know about you, but I hope against hope that the American people are not stupid enough to give this cocksucker a second term.  Left-hand turns apparently entertain some folks, but just once in a while, I’d like to see a right-hand turn.

“This may be the year when we finally come face to face with ourselves; finally just lay back and say it-that we are really just a nation of 220 million used car salesmen…….Jesus! Where will it end? How low do you have to stoop in this country to be President?”  -Hunter S. Thompson

 

 

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Hipster Douchebags, Warm Weather, Finally Breaking Down and Getting a Girlfriend, and Bilking the State of Michigan for Every God Damned Penny I Can

Having lived and worked in Michigan for the last ten years, and dealing with the asinine weather associated with that wretched state, I recently decided to pull up stakes and move to San Diego, California. I had just had enough of that fucking snow and ice. I think that (for anyone bored enough to read this) a little background is necessary.

I worked for the same company for just shy of four years. I started out as an entry-level general labor worker for a restaurant supply company. It’s not necessary to know the name of the company….well, fuck it, it was……um….Sysco’s main competitor in Grand Rapids. An absolutely perfect example of entrenched management and cheap hollander-ism. Anyhow, I managed to finagle a couple of promotions out of it after a couple of years, eventually getting “out from under the sweat.” Basically, I just got fucked a little less than all the people who had been there less time than I had. I can honestly say that I had no plans of going anywhere, certainly not picking up and moving all the way to California, though I had entertained the thought, as I had lived there previously while stationed at Camp Pendleton.  I missed the weather, and I certainly missed the women, and so, when I had to use some vacation, I decided that a trip to San Diego was in order.

My vacation routine may vary from most, in that I wake up every day and start consuming as much alcohol as I can. The morning I left Grand Rapids, I woke up and immediately did four or five(I forget) shots of whiskey,  along with two long islands in the airport lounge. I was honestly worried whether the TSA Nazis would notice my drunken state, and hoped like hell they would allow me to board the plane. Somehow, I slipped past them and boarded the plane without incident. I managed to down two more long islands while waiting for my connection in O’Hare, and the poor woman next to me on the plane had to deal with my banter, which was probably extremely obnoxious, because of the fact that the stewardess had given me three little bottles of Dewar’s, for free, which I had never consumed before. Flying sober blows.

Anyhow, I was still feeling the effects when I landed in San Diego. My friends that picked me up from the airport were waiting with some outstanding Cali weed, I believe it was called “Lunchbox” or something similar. Forgive my memory failing me, but you have to make allowances for such things when a ridiculous amount of drugs and alcohol are involved.

On day two, everything changed. I had been badgering my friends about finding some acid. They had no connections for acid, but they could damned sure find me some shrooms. I distinctly remember eating the shrooms with guacamole and chips the first time, but can’t be sure about anything after that on the first night. One of my distinct impressions of that night is that my friend’s pupils were so dilated that she resembled a cat. Also, they had a dog originally from Iraq, that someone had brought back, though the dog had no ears or tail(cut off by some sadistic iraqi cocksuckers). This, naturally resulted in the dog having a somewhat jaded view of people, and, probably the first-ever case of canine Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It was a bit unsettling, especially under the influence of hallucinogenic mushrooms, to have to worry about the dog randomly ripping your throat out for making eye contact.

I dropped at about 9 pm, which, looking back, was probably a late start. I attempted to go to sleep at about 1am, and four hours later i was still wide awake, staring at the ceiling. Eventually needing to piss, I got up and stumbled my way to the bathroom. I had a severe case of vertigo, and distinctly remember pissing and thinking to myself, “why the fuck did I even take this horrible drug?” I actually didn’t want to be as fucked up as I was.

Well, fuck it. Where the hell am I going with that? Absolutely nowhere. The point of that little story was to explain exactly why I love California. Suffice to say, the level of debauchery achieved during that little vacation is going to be a tough act to follow.

On to hipster douchebags. This hipster craze is just running wild, with not enough people to mock and ridicule these legitimate marks for looking, talking, acting, and sounding like fags. The superior attitude, coming from inferior people, is just too much for me to take. The clothing they wear, the “music” they listen to, the sense of entitlement, is screaming for a good old fashioned midwestern ass-kicking. The ironic part (irony….ha) is that most of these societal dregs come from middle-upper class midwestern families, and move to places like Portland or Charlotte, and then consider themselves part of the “intelligentsia.” Just because you like a band that has literally sold 12 copies of their album does not make you “underground” or “original.” It means you have extraordinarily shitty taste in music. It’s bullshit posturing, nothing more, nothing less.

So I have a solution: when you see hipsters on the street, simply yell “HEY HIPSTER.” When they turn and look for the source of the voice, they have outed themselves. The shame should be enough for them to renounce their hipster ways, and ensures humiliation, which is the most effective way to make a point. Also, PBR is fucking terrible. Admit it.

Also, weather. I left Michigan on a Monday morning. The first snowfall of the year occured the very same night. This was a source of savage joy for me. I can’t even describe the jubilation I felt to know that I missed snow by a slim margin of ten hours or so. After a long and grueling 37 hour drive across the great plains, across the Rockies, and finally across the long desert, I arrived in San Diego to a perfect 70 degree Southern California November day.

Honestly, the only reason I mention the weather is that I cannot believe that I actually put up with it in Michigan for so long. I must have been insanely fucking stupid to stay. I firmly believe that Michigan is full of closet sadists, who wear their weather stupidity on their sleeves like a little red badge of courage. Anyhow, the weather here is fucking top notch. I have been in the ocean 3 or 4 times since I have been here, and while it is a bit chilly, it sure the fuck beats drilling holes in the ice on lakes and swimming in that.

I have intentionally avoided being in a relationship since 2006. I’m not going to mince words here, I did pretty well for a 5’6″ white guy from a small town in Michigan the first time I lived in California. When I got out of the Marine Corps, I moved back to Michigan and basically banged the majority of women in the town (and surrounding areas) I am from. You could call it a one-man Slavic horde, the way I just came back and dominated. Except I’m not Slavic.

This was all well and good, until late 2005, when an unnamed “lady” finally paid me back in spades for the women I had used sexually. I’m not going to relive it here, but I got burnt badly by this one. It never would have worked anyhow, she being 5’10” and whatnot. The point is that I intentionally didn’t get involved in any relationship from that time up until about a month ago.

I met an awesome girl out here, who is also from Michigan(small world, there are MANY transplanted Michiganders in the San Diego area), and began hanging out with her on regular basis. I mentioned to her, after about a month of dating, that while I didn’t want to rush anything, I wanted her to think about becoming official. I thought that this was a recipe for disaster and didn’t expect a positive response. About a week later, and much to my surprise, she said that she had been thinking and she wanted to make it official. So, for the first time in six years, I actually have a girlfriend. Damn it.

A funny side story. I was asked to wait at her apartment for the AT&T guy to show up, due to her being busy. Being a generous person by nature, I agreed. Long story short, he showed up and I ended up shooting the shit with him for like 20 minutes after he was finished with the installation. I was telling him how I don’t want to get busted taking pictures with my phone of hot chicks while with my girlfriend. He suggested that instead of being blatantly obvious and simply taking a picture, and inevitably being bitched at because of it,  act like I’m moving my phone around to try to get a better signal and snap a picture on the sly. God damned good advice, except I can’t figure out how to get my camera on my phone to go silent when I take a picture. It makes an extremely loud and noticeable noise, sure to be noticed by any half-bright girlfriend.

Ah, yes. On to fucking the state of Michigan. I am receiving unemployment from the cocksuckers in Michigan, and I have approximately 9 weeks of benefits remaining, unless I am forced to file for federal aid. Now, I have a job interview on Monday, and I have every intention of taking the job if offered. Due to the ass-raping I have been subjected to by my former employer, as well as the state of Michigan(to be covered in the next blog), I have every Goddamned intention of continuing to collect unemployment benefits while simultaneously collecting a paycheck from the job I (hopefully) get. They have no compunction about taking 30% of my income for no apparent reason, therefore I have none when returning the favor.

Well, that’s about it for this one. Forgive the half-assed effort I put forth, I promise to drink a bottle of vodka and write about politics for the next one. It will be epic.

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